Husband constantly sends online shopping packages to cousin's apartment, protests when they refuse to keep hiding them from his wife: 'I marked it return to sender'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Oct 3, 2026 10:30 AM EDT

Is it fair to expect a family member to help you keep a secret?

We all know that relationships are complicated, and there is no way that we can prevent ourselves from hurting other people's feelings all the time. We're all capable of making mistakes, being disappointing, or simply not living up to the expectations of others. It is impossible to enjoy the benefits of having loved ones if we can't accept that there may be some difficulties as well.

This goes for every type of relationship, but it is not uncommon for many to believe that family members owe it to them the most when it comes to accepting and covering for their less-than-perfect behavior. There is an assumption that you should put up with just about anything just because you are related. This isn't true, of course, and instigating boundaries with these kinds of relatives is nothing short of a necessity. If you don't, they will continue to take liberties with your kindness and acceptance until it turns into a problem that is hard to run away from. That is when the real conflict starts, and more often than not, it does not end well.

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  • Back view of delivery man carrying parcels for delivery in front of a house.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Back view of delivery man carrying parcels for delivery in front of a house. Scene shown is a visual representation.
     

  • A man requested that a package be delivered to his cousin's address with the excuse that it was a surprise gift for his wife. They agreed, but then this turned into his packages being sent there at least every couple of weeks, no matter what.

    The cousin eventually realized that he was trying to hide purchases from his wife when she told them that they had been trying to cut down on his spending. When the next package arrived, they told him that they couldn't do this any longer and returned it. The man was angry, leaving them wondering if they had overstepped.

  • Am I wrong for returning my cousin’s package after realizing he was using my address to hide purchases from his wife?

    My cousin asked a few months ago if he could send one package to my apartment because it was a surprise birthday gift for his wife and he didn't want her seeing the delivery. I said sure. Except it never really stopped.
    via NostalgicFastball
  • Every couple weeks something else would show up with his name on it. Sneakers, electronics, random boxes. He'd usually come grab them the same day so I didn't care that much at first.
    via NostalgicFastball
  • Last week his wife was with him when he came over and mentioned that he'd supposedly stopped buying sneakers because they were trying to cut back on unnecessary spending. That's when I realized why everything was actually coming here.
    via NostalgicFastball

  • It was apparent that he was using the address more than he should.

    Another package arrived a few days later. I texted him saying I wasn't comfortable being his secret delivery address anymore and told him to come get it. He replied asking me to hold onto it until the weekend because his wife would be with him all week. I just marked it return to sender.
    via NostalgicFastball
  • Now he's ped because apparently it was a limited release and he can't reorder it. He even offered me money to keep accepting packages, but I told him I'm good and I'm not doing this for cash. I just don't want to be involved in whatever agreement they have about spending.
    via NostalgicFastball
  • He says I should've minded my own business because I'd already been accepting the packages for months and suddenly decided to become his marriage counselor. AITA?
    via NostalgicFastball
  • Packages are placed in front of a door.
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Packages are placed in front of a door. Representative only.
     

  • They didn't want to be in the middle of it.

    beaisenby In this case, "minding your own business" IS refusing to participate in hiding stuff from his wife, IMO.
    via beaisenby
  • MarionberryOk2874 'I would love to mind my own business by not being involved at all in your lies. Keep pushing and I will tell her how many packages I've unwittingly hidden from her.'
    via MarionberryOk2874
  • LemonLady1424 NTA but I'm surprised the wife isn't watching the credit card bills
    via LemonLady1424

  • His wife needed to know.

    Juls1016 NTA. Tell the wife. She's thinking tbat he's saving money and he isn't. He's probably addicted to online shopping and she needs to know in order to help him.
    via Juls1016
  • Randomdays99 Tell him you're minding your own business by not accepting any more packages.
    via Randomdays99
  • nerd_is_a_verb Tell him to shut up and never involve you in his lies again, or else you can just forward all his texts about secret spending and lies to his wife and then block him.
    via nerd_is_a_verb

  • He needed some consequences.

    PNL-Maine I'd tell him, "If you ship anything else to me, I'm telling your wife." NTA
    via PNL-Maine
  • Careless-Ability-748 It IS your business since they're coming to your house. nta
    via Careless-Ability-748
  • TheAlmightyFuzzy NTA. He can't make you complicit in "his business" / lying to his wife, while telling you to mind your business. Dude can get a PO box if he's that determined.
    via TheAlmightyFuzzy

  • Direct action was a possibility.

    LibraryMouse4321 Give the packages that arrive directly to his wife, and tell her that you are tired of all the packages coming to your address.
    via LibraryMouse4321

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family drama relationships package delivery cousins
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